Bio of Scott Hagie

After being raised by wolves for the first 15 years of my life, I took a crash course in computers and Al Gore and I created the Internet. After that I joined the Freemasons and was in charge of the secret division in Microsoft determined to bring down the American government. Unfortunately the government, with the help of the recovered alien technology from Area 51 that allows them to monitor every conversation on Earth, discovered the plot and blew up the Oklahoma City Building to give us a warning. Very clever of them to destroy their own building and blame it on this McVeigh guy. So anyway, after having to leave MS, I took several side jobs; planting the Bloody Glove, bribing the Academy to choose 'Titanic' as the best movie of 1997, and artificially inflating the stock market for my own personal gain. I took the wealth I gained from the latter activity, and after figuring out how to beat the casinos, spent the next several years of my life amassing a fortune. That finally ended when the Triad, which owns all the casinos in Vegas and was tired of losing money, convinced me to go back to school and hooked me up with one their major under-bosses, President Suzuki, president of Cal State University, Pomona..

My current goal at Cal Poly Pomona is to undermine the college of business from within, then using that as a power base, revolt and overthrow the rest of the college in bloody warfare, thereby enstating myself as Overlord of Cal Poly, and eventually of course, the world. Oh yeah, and maybe I will get my degree while I am there too.

© Scott Hagie